She’s really good at what she does and I am grateful to Scott for giving her a platform

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbLlCxK0pHY

: )

I’m gonna give you another shot here…………..

Whoa.

That’s like telling Julien Baker to write a happy song!

I dare you to say something purely silly, pointless, and cheerful.

This is why you keep coffee beans around.

BTW I went to an Ethiopian birthday party a couple weekends back and I have never smelled incense so strongly in my life–and then they brought out the freshly pan-(over)roasted coffee beans. Neither of those are necessarily bad smells but at the intensity that was there I seriously thought I’d vomit. I spent most of the time in the backyard for that reason.

Jezebel’s taken over most of the old Gawker portfolio, with Splinter (FKA Fusion) having taken up the serious reporting. Nothing’s really all that different, although Univision is more likely to put its foot down on shit that’ll get them sued.

And my mother is a Rust Belt Greek. The tacky is STRONG. She used to have Lladro statues everywhere. (Remember that episode of The Sopranos where Meadow has a friend over and Carmela’s all, “Don’t touch the Lladro–it’s very expensive!”, and then Meadow goes to the friend’s house and it’s a goddamn high-class mansion, no “Mc” about it, and she realizes that her parents are tacky goombas?)

For a second I forgot that your family is Mormon and this wasn’t making sense to me.

FWIW to give you an indication of the type of woman my mother is: she spent thousands of dollars (of my dad’s money, I should add–she has worked fewer than 100 hours outside the home since my brother was born in 1980) last decade traveling to see Clay Aiken shows and meet up with friends from the ClayManiacs web board.

Imagine being so basic it goes all the way back around to being incredibly weird.

Smells like burnt cocaine, sloe gin, and ball sweat, and comes in a rose quartz bottle

I’m always, quite literally amazed to find certain things actually have a significant audience. I’ll see something like Britney Spears perfume and think, “Who the hell would even want that?” It turns out A LOT of people want it, that’s why they keep making it, and it blows my mind. It’s almost like this reaffirmation or reminder that there are huge groups of people out there with completely different mind sets, wants, and needs. I don’t know where I was going with this but, personally, it’s just fascinating to remember from time to time.

Having said all that, where’s the new Father John Misty fragrance?

I hope this gets a mention at Jezebel by day’s end, because the commentariat there would eat this shit up.

Every time I see the word “mouthfeel” my stomach turns a little

I think my mother has at least half of these. She has a bit of a shopping compulsion and routinely drops $300 at TJ Maxx without blinking. Oftentimes this is for crap like celebrity perfumes…which she often uses once or twice, leaves for years, and then tries to foist off on my wife.

BTW, my mother still primarily wears Shalimar. I swear she got a five-gallon jug of it back in 1983 or something.